Wrong expectations and how pinterest creatively destroys my life

Wrong expectations about grief or
How pinterest creatively destroyed my life
Most of us have seen the famous ‪#‎pinterestfails‬.
Where someone attempts something they see so beautifully and simply created on pinterest
Only to end up with the charred remnants of your self worth, smoldering for all to see.
It looks so simple,
So easy.
Yet when the results don’t match
We feel like failures.
Comparison
It is something that is enhanced through social media and websites like pinterest
I am not saying there is anything wrong with pinterest
It is a great place for ideas
A horrible place to try to find your self worth
It used to be that we tried to keep up with the Joneses
Now, due to technology
I can see that the Joneses in Australia developed a way for their child to sleep through the night
And it was so easy
Or how anybody can take some old toilet paper tubes and recreated mini Eifel towers and displayed them on their pallet wood farmhouse table under a mason jar chandelier all for $2
There is something I fail to realize when I look at that thumbnail picture
We are not all the same people
We have different skills, talents, abilities
We have different resources.
The danger comes when I move from seeing and appreciating beauty
To trying to forcefully clone it
We do this in all areas of our lives
I have noticed myself trying to do it with grief
To force it to be beautiful
So that it doesn’t hurt
To try to take my pain and manipulate it to have a meaning it does not
That is not to say it is not beautiful, that it does not have meaning
But I must not try to clone my grief to look like someone elses
We are not the same people
We have different skills, talents, abilities
We have different resources
I would love for some deep, meaningful, powerful purpose to emerge
To make it easy to see and say
This is obviously how God is working
But the reality is, it is not always that way
Job never saw the reasons why he went through trials
His life, many thought, looked like a lot of severe , tragic pinterest fails
Am I prepared to see that at the end of my grief, there may be nothing pretty about it?
Am I prepared to surrender to God’s story and not mine?
I cannot transform my aching heart for my friend Gavin into some compelling story.
Only God can do that
And He might
Or He might not
If I live by comparison then my measuring system is biased.
Calibrated to human values and not God’s
I must live by His
At the end my heart may ache
But He is at work
It may not transform into something amazing, it may still hurt
But in walking with Him through it
It is beautiful
It is my life
My story
Lived according to His plan
Like Job I may never have answers
But like Job, if I walk with Him
Others may see past the thumbnail
See the invalidity of comparison as a measure of self worth
To live broken, yet free
Beautiful failures
Enveloped in Grace
May you be gentle with yourself
May you give grace
And may you be humble and wise enough
To receive it yourself.

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