I am getting older.
I can tell this more because when the weather changes, old injuries alert me to it.
It is interesting that I tore my ACL 8 years ago and had surgery, but still, when the weather changes, I feel it, physically.
I think that our emotional and spiritual life are not that different.
I don’t feel every injury, but I do feel the traumatic ones.
After Gavin passed I wrote about the atrophy of faith.
How when we are injured our muscles atrophy,
When we are injured spiritually or emotionally, our faith and heart can atrophy.
At these times when we atrophy,
There is a false guilt or shame that arises.
We think that “good believers in Jesus” just hop right back up.
We feel guilty or shame for being weak.
To deny our weakness in these moments is to deny our humanity.
To deny our weakness in these moments is to deny our need for a Savior.
If our muscles didn’t atrophy we would continue in whatever cycle that caused the injury, never learning from the injury.
Atrophy although inconvenient, creates space to heal.
The false guilt and shame from being weak is Satan’s attempt to alienate us from the one who brings life to our soul.
What happens as we age, as we move further from the event, as muscles come back?
I may be able to run, but when the weather changes, I am reminded of the times I couldn’t.
The flare up’s of old wounds remind me of the frailty of life.
These flare ups are most likely to occur in seasons of change or seasons of intensity.
As I run long distances, I feel the ache of the wound from years ago.
As I develop deep relationships, I am reminded of the friends I have lost.
These memories do not incapacitate as they once did.
But they do cause pain, they do remind.
We often try to deny aging in our culture and society.
In the same way we try to deny the fragility of life.
Our aches, our flare ups, our scars, bear testimony to the fragility of life.
They reveal the value of it.
I am wounded because I valued.
I am wounded because I lived.
I am wounded because I loved.
He was pierced for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The punishment that brought us peace was on Him,
And by His wounds
We are healed.
He was wounded because He valued
He was wounded Because He loved.
My wounds reveal the story of life and love.
His wounds reveal the story of life, love and redemption.
I accept my wounds.
I accept my need for a Savior.
And in doing so,
I am made alive
I am loved
I am free.
May we live in a way that we can be wounded
For in doing so, we live a life where we love
May we be old and wounded
But may we also be loved, healed and redeemed.